Good afternoon loyal fans,
I hope you all had a fantastic year. Mine was fine! The highs were high and the lows were low. 2024 might be better but it also might be worse. Crossing my fingers and toes!
This slog contains two parts: a review of my 2023 ins and outs (originally shared on my finsta last December), and of course my 2024 ins and outs. Please please share your opinions and predictions in the comments! Without further ado:
2023 Ins and Outs: Was I Nostradamus or Was I a Fool?
In
MMA (as a workout for girls): No.
Snapchat filters (for guys, ironically): Also a no, but I would’ve really enjoyed it.
Shawn Mendes (as a serious and critically acclaimed artist): NOT YET BUT SOON!
Bodycon dresses: I think I saw more of these than in 2022.
Vertical stripes (this was a Jae prediction): No.
Kiwis (the fruit, also a Jae prediction): No?
Black and navy color combo: Always in.
Tastemakers: Hard to pin down. It feels right, but I’m struggling to think of someone I consider a tastemaker in the past year. Lmk in comments.
Out
Jack Antonoff (he will be canceled): No. He was not canceled, and his work with Lana del Rey was pretty solid (A&W, Did You Know That There’s a Tunnel Under Ocean Boulevard). This is hard for me because I resent his persona, ubiquity, and face/glasses, but I actually like a significant portion of his work with the pop girlies. I can’t hate someone who helped create Melodrama and Norman Fucking Rockwell…but I want to.
Drake: I don’t know. Maybe? He continues to post selfies like this but seems to maintain a certain level of cultural dominance despite that behavior.
Autofiction: It certainly felt less dominant in 2023 than in 2022.
“Aesthetics”: No. The coquette regime has proven that dumbed down, TikTok-ified “aesthetics” are not going anywhere, and are in fact getting more inescapable every day.
Emptiness: I am not 100% sure what I meant by this. I think I meant it in a personal, soul way, in which case...yes and no?
Bleached eyebrows: Haven’t seen these in a while so yes.
Family Guy (Jae prediction): This hasn’t been in for over a decade, so I guess it’s correct, but I don’t think it counts.
Influencers: They seem out to me, but I think I have just fully aged out of the concept. Who is even a significant influencer anymore? There are too many for any of them to matter.
All in all, not a terribly accurate set of predictions, but you live and you learn. Now for what you’ve really been waiting for…
2024 Ins and Outs: You Heard It Here First
In
The bus: It takes you where you need to go. Maybe not on time, but you get to be above ground. These days, you can even charge your phone! I love the B38.
Gladiator sandals: I won’t be wearing them, but I think there will be a resurgence this summer. They are deeply impractical in a fun way. Imagine for a moment that you are wearing your gladiator sandals around town. They offer no arch support, and your feet are getting absolutely filthy. You’re getting really weird tan lines and blisters on your shins. Then, you arrive at your friend’s house for a kickback. It’s a shoes off household of course, so you spend a solid two minutes unlacing your sandals. When you leave, it takes you a full five minutes to get them laced back up. Luckily, they are very trendy, so all of your friends are in the exact same boat. You start to build in “lace-up time” when calculating what time you need to leave your house to make the next train.
Kickbacks: The perfect social gathering. Invite six people to your house, but it doesn’t have to be a dinner party every time. Drinks and snacks baby!
Shawn Mendes: I am legally obligated to predict his rise to power every year. I really do think he has it in him in 2024!
Intermissions: Everyone complains about the length of movies these days, but they keep getting longer and longer. When the average Oscar bait movie length hits four hours, movie theaters will incorporate ten minute intermissions. It’s a win for everyone.
“My beloved”: This is a very sweet way to refer to your “partner.”
Blogs: I’m not saying I’m ahead of the curve, but maybe I am. I want to read silly little dispatches from my friends! Instagram stories aren’t cutting it!
Addison Rae: She’s already in, but she will remain in. Her energy is hot, fun, and surprisingly chic. Looking forward to her next single…
Poetry: Not writing poetry, but appreciating poetry. Everyone will be posting Edna St. Vincent Millay and Frank O’Hara on their Instagram stories (or maybe their blogs…)
Dirt: “Clean girl” is over. 2024 dirt vibes won’t be full “indie sleaze” or dirtbag, just kinda grimy. Smudged eyeliner and chipped nail polish. Smelling a little bit bad.
Out
Mary Janes: They’re played out and uncomfortable.
“My partner”: As previously described, this will be replaced with “my beloved.” Sounds less business-like and more ROMANTIC. (Romance is also in.)
Short form video: No more TikTok! No more Reels! No more YouTube Shorts! The videos are getting longer and longer—why not just go back to classic YouTube?
EmRata: She hasn’t been in for a while, but she’s definitely not coming back.
Performative cleanliness: No one actually cares how often you shower or wash your bras.
Mustaches: Enough! A thick, Steve Harvey-esque mustache will never be out, but the currently trendy thin, weak stache is on its way out. Blondes and gingers should never, ever have skinny little mustaches.
Being hard to get, platonically: Open your heart to me!
That’s all I have for now, my loves. Comments are wiiiiide open for your predictions and reflections.
Thank you for reading—I will see you all in 2024 <3
Sydney
I liked this.